I need to tell you this is so hard to write about. Since 2011 I have said yes. I have wanted you to learn how to paint if that was your hearts desire. I have wanted to paint what you wanted. I have said Yes, I have said Yes, I have said Yes.
Enjoying the attention has been important to my own development. It was good to know art, even my art was important to you.
But now I can’t do it anymore. I can’t say yes.
I wake up in the morning and I say to my Lord Jesus Christ I don’t want anything in my life accept what you have for me. I take this statement seriously and I know the Lord has taken it serious as well. I have learned this requires a lot of changes.
- It is not my job to figure out how to make enough money. Live by faith
- I am learning to resist subtle or obvious pressures to please people. God wants to be my only Lord. No Idols.
- I need to pray at all times staying mindful that everyday is different. Trusting in the Lord with all my heart.
I had so much trouble learning to read when I was a child. I was 11 or 12 before I could read a sentence. If I was called on to read, my body would begin to shake and my eyes bounced in my head. I finally learned enough that everyone changed the subject, but I had only learned to please others. I wrote a book about my childhood becoming an artist. I didn’t share anything that would make a child sad because I wrote it for every child that loves to do art and the adult world thinks they need to be involved and develop and direct the child. Children don’t need us to teach them art, they just need quality materials to work with and to be left alone to play with the materials. You can buy my book from my Etsy Store
In art the Holy Spirit has taught me how to learn for learning sake. It has been an important work in me and as I watch people my age begin to give up their dreams, stop trying to work towards and then fulfill their hearts desire I have seen how much they benefit when I teach them to quiet their soul the way I do when I paint with watercolor. This is how I learned to learn and I continue to learn this way.
So you know what scriptures I’m listening to these days, Torah Portions, this week I’m on week 4 Reading is so laborious to me, I am thankful I can listen and paint.